Actual photo of me over Spring Break
Feeling pretty insulated from the world lately. Almost completely disengaged from the horrors of politics and the attacks on personal freedom our last two presidents seem to think is what they were put on this earth to accomplish. Those things made me want to get up and fight the last couple years. They made me want to talk to other people and get them outraged, too. Now, I don't care. Call it fatalism, pessimism, apathy... call it whatever you want, but I don't think anything is changing in this country until Civil War II and that is simply too big a horror for me to contemplate...and so I don't. I don't contemplate it at all. I pretend it isn't happening. Sounds healthy, I know.
I did not have anywhere near as much fun throwing the frisbee as this guy apparently had.
In all my soul searching, in all my meandering, in all my internal whining, in all my quest to find some kind of meaning to something...I am finding nothing. That in itself isn't even really the problem. The problem, I realize in writing this, is I don't care enough to find it anymore. There is one thing, ONE, I do know. I know lots of crappier humans than me that I treat far better than I treat myself.
Sooner or later, I have to fight my way out of this. I will. I know I will. This funk just feels a little deeper and a whole lot longer than almost all of my previous lows and I am known for being one of those high and low kinda fellas. If you could chart my biorhythms throughout my life I'm pretty sure it would look like this:
I specialize in obvious analogies.